Revealed: How President Uhuru is Conducting Lifestyle Audit of CORRUPT Procurement and Accounting Officers in
President Uhuru Kenyatta

Yesterday at 2204hrs, on my way home, I decided to meet a friend of mine senior officer in government who has been at home for close to 7 weeks after the famous compulsory leave occasioned by Corruption Cleansing. We met in a Bush restaurant.

I ordered my all time favourite hot beverage. She had her sweet dry wine. We got into talks. And we talked. Intense, tense and candid talks. I told her by hiding all the identifiable traces, I would mention this to my Facebook Timeline. I always do, when I think to write about a factual caselaw.

Last week she was called to appear in an undisclosed venue (I won’t disclose), she then was picked by a saloon car with fake plates and dropped in another place she even doesn’t know to date. Possible because Nairobi and Kiambu has got discreet places. There she met sleuths. People who were vetting her to ascertain her sources of wealth. And how she accumulated it from when she was employed first in 1987.

She tried pulling smart lies and political chats. The sleuths were keen but cynical. She talked. Talked. Talkeeeeeddddddddddddd. After a 24min blubber of verbal vomit, and you know nothing is as dangerous as being listened uninterrupted when you are lying. There is a magic that entices you to speak on. And she did. It was a long twilight for her. Suddenly, she was taken to another room, where she found a different person, a woman in this case, with a file. Green file, with about 10 sheets of papers. That was her whole financial and investment life summarised. At that point, she went quiet and another round of wine was delivered by a waitress I suspected works for ‘Special Branch’. So we chilled. No talk until she’s gone. First thing we had done was to check under the table, and around the gazebo, just in case bugs are fixed.

Long story isn’t? Just like the day she faced these guys. It was longer day, that her whole life collapsed. Every transaction was presented. Investments identified. Those that she has with her husband joint, her nieces and aunts. Strange that she has written her female kin only. It was presented. And yes, just like the Standard had alluded yesterday, her Mpesa too had records. Any record she made above 15k was available.

She then decided to spill her heart out to her female friend. And she did. Hoping that she will understand and help her. She and I don’t know by now whether it will work well. She even had offered to speak to her in the way she want. Later of course. She was nodding all along.

By the time we rose to depart, at the dead of the night, she had made up her mind to resign and abide by the condition of returning as much as they need. And live in peace thereafter. After all, she’s been around for decades more than she hope to live, and hasn’t been that terrified. Her peace is gone. Her family lax.

Finally because I won’t tell you more (we agreed to that extent, and a man is as good as his word),

President Uhuru Kenyatta is ambitious in his intention to slay the dragon. Not in the way we want. I included. Of killing, maiming, jailing and insulting the LOOTERS, GRABBERS, THIEVES and CORRUPT, but by poisoning the roots of the SYSTEMIC GRAFT as it is. If as powerful people as we know them have started denying the ownership of THEIR CHOPPERS, and Linda* has offered to resign and return close to half of her Sh Р00 M empire, then it is fire.

I stand in my position to cheer him. In a manner of time, we shall be able to return our country to at least movable trajectory. Political consequences notwithstanding.

By Zack Kinuthia